champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
