There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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