Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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