I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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