You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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