Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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