Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
