What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
