I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
