i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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