I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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