i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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