Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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