i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize