That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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