She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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