the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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