I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
