where am i from again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
