first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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