omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
