I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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