Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
