and she was petting her beer can
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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