Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
