It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
