nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
