yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
