In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
