someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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