is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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