i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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