i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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