Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
