your thong is hanging out like whoa
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize