Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
