my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
