my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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