I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
