I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
