We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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