i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
