when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
