You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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