Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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