I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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