all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
