she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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