next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
