For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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