ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
