clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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