somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
