Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
