He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
