Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
