On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
