no, he came in my armpit
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
