My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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