one two three fourrrrnication!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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